Bayless Hill Boxing [BHB]
by Hurrica-dogg
Summary: A Dis-functional family battles it out each week to see who is the craziest
1. BHB Roster

June Bayless BHB Owner. Even at age 74 he is still the most feared man in the BHB  
  
Ruby Bayless After raising 6 kids [Tommy,George,Kathi,Garry,Jerry,Linda]having a major heart attack and turning 70, she still kickin'  
  
Linda Adkins Being the mother of Thomas and Katie would drive anyone to have weird powers, Linda can smell fear!  
  
Terry Adkins He's the horse lovin' Step dad of Thomas and Katie and has one of the coolest voices I've ever heard Thomas The most crazed 16 year old fisherman alive  
  
Katie Take a gothic person, a crazy person and the ''Good Humor Man'' mix em' together and you have a 15 year old with a slipknot sweatshirt named Katie  
  
P.J. A car crazed 17 year old, and he is the son of George and Hazel  
  
George The carefree 50 year old Animal Controll Officer  
  
Hazel The 49 year old Hopital worker, she can take your order at that Hospital faster than you can say hi!  
  
'The Mortally Mean Minister' Charles By looking at his name you can tell he is a Minister but he is also a very violent 24 year old fighter.  
  
Garry Garry is the most psycotic person in the BHB at the age of 48.  
  
Beth She's....Beth!  
  
Ann She's the 32 year Beauty Salon worker and the Daughter of Kathi  
  
Les He is a 33 year old ''Verizon'' worker who is a big fan of 'NASCAR'  
  
William An obsessed fan of wrestling for about 15 years, he is the 15 year old son of Kathi.  
  
J.R. He is a 21year old Marine who is unable to compete because he is stationed in Afganastan. he's the son of Jerry  
  
Trina A 26 year old who has been able to put a hurt'n on somebody all her life, she's also the daughter of Jerry  
  
Jason The husband of Trina who I don't know a hole lot about  
  
'Roho' Adams The 57 year old Father of William who can put a sleeper hold on anyone he wants  
  
Kathi The insane 49 year old Mother of William and Ann and the Wife of Bill  
  
Bruce Adams The book loving Uncle of William and the Brother of Bill  
  
Chris Crawford The Unpredictable Uncle of Thomas and Katie  
  
Margeret The down to earth Wife of the Crazy Garry  
  
Jerry The 48 year old Head Forman for the State of Kentucky  
  
Andy Griffith Former Sherrif of Mayberry and Matloc!  
  
Josh Lucus The 20something year old former truck drive'n cousin of 'The Mortally Mean Minister' Charles  
  
Eric Boos The Gothic 15 year old non-family member  
  
Tommy The 52 California Baseball umpire who had to have an insulin pump put in him due to diabetes  
  
Dee The 50 year old wife of Tommy  
  
Scott The 24 year old who almost made it to the Major Legues in Baseball now he's a Father of 3. he's the son of Tommy and Dee  
  
Christine The 31 year old Daugther of Tommy&Dee  
  
Gean The 27 year old who is Honorably Dis-charged from the Millitary he's the Son of Tommy&Dee  
  
Minister George The 50something year old Nazerene Minister at the Church in Ohio where Charles sometimes Preeches  
  
Marvin Merideth The 74 year old preecher at Charles' old church  
  
"Guy from Walmart" Bobby He's a guy that likes to shop at wal- mart. He's not a family member  
  
Kathy Beth's Mom  
  
Dwayne Beth's Dad  
  
Cathy The Mortally Mean Minister's Co-Worker from wal-mart 


	2. Episode 1

First Match Of The Night. It's June vs. Thomas in a Fishing Death Match. Lets go to the ring. "Boy! I'm Gonna Kick Your *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* and the horse you rode in on son!" At that very moment Thomas has a bowel movement. Okay the rules of this match are as followed: You must hog tie and hook your opponent to your line for the win. *FIGHT* The bell sounds and June leaps for Tom but he moves and June hits the turn buckles making him a little dazed. So Tom Grabbed his rope and began to tie up June. He got him completely tied by the time June came to. So Tom started to get the hook, as he turned around he got an eye full of Mail pouch juice. So June roles to his rope, gets one hand free and then ties Tom and hooked him behind the ear and won the match. The ref untied June. He was so mad that his grandson would try to hook him, he went under the ring and pulled out a table and set it up outside the ring. Then he grabbed the bleeding Thomas with one hand and threw him through the table. Next Match Katie vs. Sheriff, Justice of the Peace, and Matlock himself Andy Griffith *FIGHT* Andy thinks he has this match already one, but he didn't expect Katie's ultimate powers. She Lit one up and threw it in his face. He screamed Hysterically as his eye was completely burned out. It looked like Katie could win this one. BUT WAIT, WHAT'S THIS!!! It's Barney Fife. He came down and pointed a gun at Katie. She thought this was it but in typical Barney Fashion He drops the gun and it goes off and sends Barney running for the high hills. Still a little stunned Katie Takes off her SLIPKNOT sweatshirt, that she wears all the time over different shirts, and Starts to choke Andy Until he taps out. Giving Katie the win  
  
Next for the Junior Championship the champ, Jerry vs. "The Mortally Mean Minister" Charles. This tension between these two have been building ever since they got in a fight were the police were eventually called. *FIGHT* The Mean Minister starts out with several high drop-kicks. Then Jerry rolled out of the ring and began to walk away in an attempt to get counted out and save his title. But as he began to leave "The Mortally Mean One" did his famous move the burning sensation off the top ropes and knocking Jerry nearly out cold. Then Minister Charles threw Jerry in the ring, climbed the ropes and did the Snuka Splash and Pinning Jerry for the 1,2,...3 and a new Junior champ is Crowned.  
  
Then William is seen "Backstage" talking on a phone and says "I'll take P.J. Down, oh it's true it's Dang SKIPPY true" and the person on the other line says "William this is Les I don't Know what your talking about."  
  
Then We see The Bayless Hill Champ Getting Ready for his triple threat match against Bill and George. He looks confident but for some odd reason he's dressed up just like The Hot Rod Rowdy Roddy Piper He's even wearing a kilt.  
  
  
  
Now for the match even I have been waiting for The vacant Women's Championship is on the line in a TLC [Tables, Ladders, and Chairs] match were Kathi will go one on one with Carol. The rule is who ever climbs the ladder and grabs the title suspended from above wins. *FIGHT* They ran at each other but Carol ducks and picks up a chair. So Kathi goes under the ring and pulls out a steel trash can and climbs back in the ring. Kathi taunts Carol to take the first shot and she happily obliges and knocks Kathi crazy. But Kathi is already crazy the chair shot has no affect. So while Carol celebrates Kathi whacks her with the trash can. Then she sets up a table and a ladder. She puts Carol on the table and Kathi Climbed the ladder half way and jumped toward Carol who moved but still got hit but Kathi also went through a portion too. Now both women are dazed and stagger to opposite sides of the ring Carol grabs a chair and Kathi Grabbed a table. They charge at each other and Kathi drives the table through Carol and through herself. They both crawled to the ladder right below the dangling belt. They both begin to climb the ladder. As they both reach the top they exchange blows and Carol executes a Spine buster off the top of the ladder. Carol then goes outside the ring and sets up two tables side by side and then a table on top of each of them. Then she gets back in the ring were she's greeted by a chair shot by Kathi. Kathi starts to climb the ladder. Then Carol does the same. They reach the top at the same Time. As they punch each other out of no were Ann runs down, tips the ladder over, and Both Carol and Kathi fall through the four tables outside. Then Ann climbs the ladder, gets the belt, climbs down, and says that the rules don't say that one of the two people involved have to win. So After The match there's a bloody and batterd Carol and Kathi and the new champ is neither one of them instead it's Ann.  
  
Now We see our champ doing the shufle to the loud sounds of blugrass.  
  
William is still "Backstage" saying 'Oh I'll win and when I do it;s not going to be a BAD thing that is a GOOD thing. I am going to win tonight and then I'm going to win the Bayless Hill Championship and that's the best of both worlds. Oh it's True, It's dang SKIPPY true.  
  
Then Wrestler/Owner June Bayless comes out and announces that next week there will be a new 'Hardcore' belt which will be on the line 24/7  
  
BHB  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Our next match William vs. PJ. *FIGHT* as william walks to the ring he is still talking trash about how he knows so much about wrestling, and something about AC/DC I think. and as he enters the ring he turns to the crowd and starts to do his hogan Poses Then While William's back was turned PJ rolled him up for the 1,2,3. Your Winner in a record time of 5 seconds PJ.  
  
"Backstage" The Champ is almost ready for his match and...... OH NO THE JUNIOR CHAMP JUST ATTACKED THE CHAMP. What a weird family.  
  
Our next match is a special location match, taking place at the junior champ Charles' house. It's Beth vs. "The noise outside" *Fight* ClangClang Clang Clang There is a noise outside the sliding doors. So Beth goes to see what it is. then the doors open and a person walks in so Beth a stack of term papers and whacks the person on the head. Beth then turns on the lkight to discover it was only her husband who is know out cold. then the light bulb blows and everything goes black. then out of know where the "BIG BAD REFRIDGERATOR" makes a noise. Beth then jumps and almost lands on Buster the dog. Beth then slides across the floor, trips and goes head first through the top of the fish tank. Beth falls down out cold while the water pours out of the tank and the fish splashes out and lands on Beth for the 1,2,3. your Winner Clark the fish who is safely put into a bowl of water by a dazed and confused Charles.  
  
"Backstage" William is makeing excuses for why he lost "well you see the sun was in my eyes so when the heat from the UV Rays and uh well I'll get a rematch someday, but if I dont I guess I'll fight Andy Griffith instead. And that's not a bad thing it's a GOOD thing, Oh it's True it's dang SKIPPY true!"  
  
time for the main event of the evening. LETS GET READY TO MUMBEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLL!. *FIGHT* Bill and George are about to come out......BUT WAIT WHAT'S THIS it's Charles The Junior Champ. "I want to unify this belt with the Heveyweight belt So I Want You Champ In A BAYLESS BRAWL" Wait it's the Champ and he's beating the crap out of The Mortily Mean One. and he says "I'll beat you Charlie or my nam isn't Garry Leon Bayless.  
  
Untill next Week PEACE  
  
BHB 


	3. Episode 2

Good evening I'm your host Jonathan Coachman you can call me 'The Coach' and we are starting off tonight a match for a new title the middle class championship. It's the level below the world title which will be unified with the junior championship. Just a little reminder there will also be a hardcore title debut with Jerry going one on one against Andy Griffith.  
  
Here it is the new middle class belt up for grabs it's a sibling fight between Thomas and Katie. *FIGHT* Katie comes down to the ring and Thomas hits her with a chair from behind. Thomas then throws Katie into the ring. He begins to stomp a mud hole in her and walk it dry. But out of nowhere Katie hit him with a low blow. As Tom rolls on the ground Katie lights one up and prepares to fling it at Tom when he kicks her in the gut and dose his Diago neck breaker and pins Katie for the 1,2,3. The new Middle Class Champ then begins to beat the crap out of her. He then goes to the top rope and dose the Flying Mustawsh and then leaves.  
  
*Backstage* William is backstage on the phone saying, "tonight when you and I beat 'The Adkins Duo'' It won't Be a Bad thing, it will be a GOOD thing. Are you ready Sanchezz." "William this is Les I don't Know what your talking about, but I do know we're going TO KICK SOME Aaa....." The phone goes dead and William says "Okay, I guess After we beat them we can kick the first letter in the alphabet, Hello? Hello? Well the phone going dead IS a bad thing.  
  
Our next match is Andy Griffith vs. Jerry for the Hardcore Championship. *FIGHT* Jerry is acting like he's the greatest ever then Andy throws a chain at Jerry that hits him in the leg. Then out of nowhere June comes down and Punches Andy and then dose his finisher the Crazily Cursing Crossbody and went for the pin [due to the fact the title is on the line 24/7 and can be won by anyone] he got a 2 count when it was broken up by George who whacks him with a Ball bat. Then he turned June over for a 2 count but Andy broke it up, left the ring and took the ref with him and went into Junes house were Ruby was asleep. Andy then put a hand on her Shoulder and the ref counted 1,2, and then Spike, thinking they were hurting Ruby, Bit Andy in the face making Ruby wake up and pin Andy for the 1,2,3.The new Hardcore Champ Ruby  
  
*Backstage* Beth is backstage saying "I can't believe I lost to a Fish. Wait I know I'll go after the hardcore championship CLANG CLANG CLANG Or maybe I'll Lock my doors and windows and prank call people." Now our very own interviewer Kevin Kelly is with "The Mortally Mean Minister" Charles. Let's See What Kevin Says "Well Charles I..." "That's Minister Charles to you Pal" "okay Minister Charles, Why would you attack your own Dad and for that matter why would you Challenge him in a title unification match" "Well Kelly your about as Stupid as my cousin who dose impressions of George W. and Geroldo. It makes Perfect sense. Seeing that I'm the greatest person to grace a wrestling ring I have nothing to lose." "Well actual you could lose the Junior belt and the chance to be the first Undisputed BHB Champion." "Kevin Kelly you fat, stupid, insignificant little peon, I am the Living Legend, the Icon, and soon to be the first Undisputed BHB Champion. Now go far enough away from me to were I can't smell your horrendous stench." "Back to you Coach." *Backstage* "Oh it's True it's dang SKIPPY True." "Hey you know what William, You are TRUEly stupid" "Yeah sure but that's not a BAD thing that's a GOOD thing, come on let's go"  
  
Next match is William and Les vs The Adkins Duo *FIGHT* William starts out with a hole lot of runing around in circles, gets real dizzy, and says something about AC/DC. He falls down from getting dizzy so Terry pins him. But thankfully for him Les came in and beat the crap out of Terry and then decked Linda who was standing on the outside. Then Les executes his Finisher The Wrong Number Slam on Terry for the 1,2,3.  
  
Now it's time for the main event of the evening LLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEET'SS GET READY TO MMMMMMUUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMBLLLLLLLLLE!!! *FIGHT* There is Garry walking from his house to the ring when he was hit by Charles with a toilet seat. He then throws him into William's mailbox. After kicking the crap out of him he rammed his face into a basketball pole. Then he tried to choke him with a garden hose but was met with a boot to the face by Garry. They then started to exchange blows as they walked to the hill as they were punching each other not realizing how near they were to the edge of the hill. Then Garry speared Charles sending both of them tumbling over the hill, then Garry got into one of Les' cars, threw Charles in it and drove to the end of Charles' Drive way. Garry Kicked him out and began to Kick him more. Then Charles ran to June's building Garry followed but was met with a 2x4 breaking over his head. Then "The Mortally Mean One" took Garry to the old house behind of June's house. They began to fight when Charles power bombed Garry through the front door. As they got inside Charles threw Garry towards the steps leading upstairs and he went right through them. As the dust settled from the impact Charles walked over to Garry and pinned him for the 1,2, kick out. With Charles in disbelief Garry kicked him in the stomach and threw him to the top floor. Garry then climbed up after him. Charles was on his feet as they traded punches. Then Charles, with a head of steam, charged at Garry as the floor started to give way. When he got to him Garry ducked sending Charlie strait through the upstairs window, but as Garry fell on the floor from the momentum of the backdrop, he went through the floor. Amazingly after about 10 minutes they both got up around the same time Charles staggered towards Garry and hit with a tree limb that was laying close by. He then put him in a buggy connected to a lawn mower and drove it up behind "The Adkins Duo's" house. Garry jumped out of the buggy right before they got completely there so he ran up and hit Charles from behind knocking him off the lawn mower which came to a stop when it hit a tree. Garry then threw Charles into a tree. Then Garry pushed Charles on to an electric fence. Garry thought he had this match won but the fence wasn't on. So Charles was waiting for Garry to turn around to do his non- arial version of the Burning Sensation when he was kicked in the leg by, Lady, the horse that the fence was keeping containing. Garry turned around as Charles fell. He caught him as he fell and did the Possum Stomper and pinned for the 1,2......3. The first BHB Champion is Garry.  
  
I'm the Coach and I'll see you AS ALWAYS next week. Peace.  
  
BHB 


	4. Episode 3

Good evening I'm your host 'The Coach' and we have such a main event for you tonight. This match being fought in the 'old house section' for the Undisputed BHB Championship. The Champ Garry going one on one with Andy Griffith. Plus a match that is so violent so bloody that it will not be for the weak at heart when Thomas goes one on one with an out of the family competitor Justin. Also "Mortally Mean Minister" Charles is in the house and who knows what mood he is in tonight.  
  
First Match Thomas vs. Justin for the Middle Class Belt in a hunting showdown. Now due to the lack of brightness between these two, we have them using pellet guns. The person who shoots the most animals wins. *FIGHT* Thomas Could care less about shooting the most animals at the start of the match, so instead he hits Justin in the back of the head with the gun and shoots him in the leg. Then Thomas Hits Justin with the Diago Neck Breaker and shot him in the other leg. Then Thomas stood there saying: "Sticker Sticker Sticker Sticker" a lot until the time ran out. Your winner Thomas because shooting Justin counted as a shot.  
  
*Backstage* William is talking on the Phone. "Yeh Oh it's true Andy it's dang skippy true. Oh and Mr. Griffith that's not a Bad thing That's A GOOD thing." "William this is Les and I heard everything you said, are you really gonna do that." " Me going through with it, I give it an OH HEY YEA!"  
  
Well I have no clue what that was about, but I do know ruby is about to defend the Hardcore championship against June. *FIGHT* June runs out and tries to take down Ruby, but with extremely scary strength that now one on earth has ever seen, Ruby got mad and gave June the Ruby Effect. The reason being is because Ruby had saved up all her anger and finally used on the Big DDT. Ruby covers June for the 1,2.... Kick out. June then gets something out from under the ring. He gets back in the ring and breaks his spit can over Ruby's head. June then pins Ruby for the 1,2,...3. But wait what's this, George and P.J. are coming to the ring with a sledgehammer. While June has his back turned, PJ and George hit June with the Hammer as hard as they could. Then PJ went for the Pin but was Hit in the back of the head with the hammer by George who pins June for the three count. Then William runs down and executes the Olympic Slam to George for the 3 count. William begins to walk backstage, as he reaches the Entrance to backstage he is greeted by the Testify! by 'The Mortally Mean Minister' Charles and pins William for the 1,2,..3. 'The Mean One' then runs away as Les comes out to help his injured Tag partner. Your new Hardcore Champ 'The Mortally Mean Minister' Charles.  
  
Our next fight is an extended family match when Bruce Adams, the book loving Uncle of William and The brother of Bill, goes one with Chris Crawford, the unpredictable Uncle of Thomas and Katie. *FIGHT* Bruce is actually reading on his way to the ring. Chris is waiting for him in the ring. Then as Bruce comes to the ring, Bruce attacks Chris from behind. Yes, I know that may sound stupid but it's really happening. Due to Bruce's Intelligence he rigged a Camera, Mirror, and a laser beam to make it look like he was there. Then Bruce grabbed a book, which he had brought with him as he ambushed Chris from behind, and hit Chris with it knocking him Cold! Bruce pinned him for the 1, 2, .........3. Then Bruce reveals how he cut a hole through the pages of the book, big enough for him to put a brick in. Your clever winner Bruce  
  
Now it's time for our main event. LLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEETTSSS GET READY TO MMMMMMMMUUUUUUUUUMMMMBBBBBLLLLLE!!!!! *FIGHT*Andy is already in the old house as Garry enters. As he gets to the top floor, were he is in the room next to were Andy is, he is whacked by a 2x4 by Les, Then Andy comes to him and gives him a DDT. Garry then gives both Les and Andy a low Blow, throwing Les to the floor below. As Garry stands up he is double clothesline by Terry and William. Andy gets up and gives Garry the Matlock Bombas Les crawls to the top floor. Then Andy Pins Garry for the 1,2............3! Then William gives the other three T-shirts and music plays, and we see a new BHB champ and the formation of the nWo!  
  
I'm the Coach, Peace! 


End file.
